What does Thorne to Rose Foundation Mean? 

At a very young age, I knew my Nyla was not going to be a child that I could control. Their responses to what I referred to as little forms of discipline like “no, not today” or “you can have that later” was more than just unusual. Their constant references to harming themselves or others and damaging property seem to be the preferred method of coping when dealing with feelings of rejection. Initially I thought Nyla was just spoiled or being a drama queen. The one thing I couldn’t figure out was the amount of rage that seemed to dwell in them. It was like no matter what the consequences were going to be, Nyla was going to do and say what they needed to release their pain. 

Towards the end of elementary school, I started taking Nyla to therapy. Their emotions were constantly on a rollercoaster. There were many days I struggled to get them out of bed. Talks of self-harm turned to actions and only escalated to more aggressive measures and impulsive behavior. 

Nyla decided that they wanted to be called Thorne. I thought this was just another display of oppositional defiance. I now realize that the name represented how they were feeling. Stays at acute facilities, transfers to different schools, sending them to different therapists, the psychiatrist prescribing different medications, keeping them engaged in extracurricular activities; I continued to fight for my Nyla.

At the age of 18, my child was finally diagnosed as someone suffering from bipolar disorder. Through this whole process, I continued to educate myself and be a tool of support for my child. Nyla no longer goes by Thorne, however, prefers to be called Aven. We both take one day at a time: them owning their mental health and me replenishing them with love, compassion, education, and support.

Nyla is my Rose.